Love, Sex & Homework

actually, the best gift you could have given her was a lifetime of adventures
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So when people leave, I’ve learned the secret: let them. Because, most of the time, they have to.

Let them walk away and go places. Let them have adventures in the wild without you. Let them travel the world and explore life beyond a horizon that you exist in. And know, deep down, that heroes aren’t qualified by their capacity to stay but by their decision to return.
— The Staying Philosophy, Everyday Isa (via nonelikejesus)

(Source: everydayisa, via two--drifters)

 

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“You lose yourself trying to hold on to someone who doesn’t care about losing you.”

I’d like to start this off by dedicating everything that’s been recently posted on my blog to all the brokenhearted people. I know life is rough sometimes and all that is handed to you are lemons. And I know its so hard to give your heart to someone only to get it crushed, to have the one person you loved and trusted the most give up on you. 

But it will definitely get better because it must. So just let yourself cry it out. Stop trying to act strong and tough especially when you’re with only yourself. Do this for some time that you think is reasonable then stop. 

Stop when the time is right and you are ready to discontinue feeling sorry for yourself and feeling the grieve of being given up on. Stop because you are better than that. 

Let go of that good looking rebound if you happened to find yourself one. There’s a reason most people say rebound relationships have an expiry date- eventually you’ll have to let it go so you can really deal with your emotions. You can’t hide from your reality within someone’s arms forever, though it certainly helps and is a lot of fun whilst it lasts! Besides, this could be a really great person who has real feelings for you. They deserve more than just a shell covering a broken heart!

I really do believe in true love. I know everything feels like the end now but it can’t be- it just cannot. You deserve true love if you’re worthy of it, if you’re not a terrible person. If you think you are a terrible person, change. Find out the causes of your relationship breakdown then become a better version of yourself. Because you’re going to be a better girlfriend/boyfriend the next time someone worthy comes along. You’re not going to make the same mistakes again. 

This is how I see it. If you were a parent, you never give up on your child for good. Even if s/he commits some distasteful crime, that person is still yours and your love for them is unconditional, especially if you know the circumstantial reasons for their behaviour and you know who they are as an individual. When they’ve done their time in jail and they come out, you don’t turn them away. 

In a way, true love is similar to that. You don’t give up on people because it gets too hard. You give up on people because it gets harder than what they are worth.

So I’m sure you may have been a terrible girl/boyfriend at a given time but you deserve someone who believes in you. Believes in your ability to change and reform and be a better version of yourself. You deserve an opportunity to prove that, too.

So grieve away, cry your heart out- then stop. Stop and realise that these things they call pain, its a human condition but happiness is one as well. And if you stop crying for long enough, you will learn that if she/he were the real deal then that person wouldn’t have walked away from an opportunity to see you change and have both of you happy together.

So stop waiting for that phone call that might never ring, stop sending them messages that might never be returned. Unless you are a submarine pilot, I’m sure they know where you live, where you work, what your number is. If they were the real deal, they will come back after some time. If not, stop chasing something only to hurt yourself because it will hurt even more this way. 

Find your strength to let it go because letting go is not giving up! Its respecting yourself and also respecting that person you were in the relationship with. And its about believing in yourself. 

Its not going to stop hurting any time soon. Its been months and I thought I was fine until recently. I had gone out and had absolutely one of the best nights of my life. I came home and something fell out of my desk drawer and it was an old gift he had given me about a year ago. That was when I realised I had spent the entire night and didn’t even think to think about him! This should have been a good thing but it was one of those moments when you realise that things are changing and you have to embrace it but you’re a child who doesn’t want to. I just remember how even when we were together and I was having fun, he would always be there with me in my heart. After our break up, I would often think once or twice a night out that it’d be so nice to have him somewhere in my life so I can rest up a bit and tell him all about the fun I was having. So it was confrontational to realise that you will stop missing someone very soon or at least eventually in time and that you have this strength to.  

I know I’ve made pretty poor effort with this blog in the past few months- just recently received a notification from Tumblr about surpassing some milestone, some nice round number of followers. I know I don’t write a lot of original things here but I think I really owe it to someone to do so. 

I recently went through a weird time in my life. I would search hours for answers; no one was able to give it to me because no one else had them specifically tailored for me. But I found that looking up articles, reading lots and widely really helps! 

Of course, every circumstance is different and with everything, you have to just tailor it to your own situation with judgement as unbiased as possibly can be. Some of what I’ve written here may be completely off from yours. Sometimes when you chase people far enough, they will stop and let you catch up with them. Some “rebound” relationships end in marriages. This is just what has happened for me and from a lot of advice I had sought through reading and conversations with friends. Its a scary world out there but trust me, love is worth it even if it feels anything but like so right now!

 

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Don’t ever stop looking for love by finding love within yourself first then with other people- just because you did it once and it bit back doesn’t mean it’s not going to work out in the future or that its not worth it :) 

Don’t ever stop looking for love by finding love within yourself first then with other people- just because you did it once and it bit back doesn’t mean it’s not going to work out in the future or that its not worth it :) 

(Source: slugsteak, via two--drifters)

 

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If there’s something you want, but it’s high risk, high reward — take that chance before you’re no longer able to. Rejection feels bad, failure feels awful, but regret feels the worst. Disappointment that we passed on something and the train left the station without us. A dream, a girl, a guy, words left unspoken – you can erase the possibility of having these regrets down the road, by taking a chance and at least knowing if it was or wasn’t meant to be.

 

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Behind every exquisite thing that existed, there was something tragic.
— Oscar Wilde (via seabois)

(via thejoanne)

 

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There are so many fragile things, after all. People break so easily, and so do dreams and hearts.

Neil Gaiman (via kari-shma)

The heart is the most stubborn muscle. Sometimes this will work against it; when it tries to hold onto things that want to hurt it, crush it, break it. It is stubborn and will let those things do just that. But with its great stubborn nature comes its wonderful resilience. And you’d be surprised at how much your heart can break, and even more surprised with what you can bounce back with. That’s why heartbreak can be so beautiful. Sad and beautiful.

(via quote-book)

 

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Do you want me to tell you something really subversive? Love is everything it’s cracked up to be. That’s why people are so cynical about it. It really is worth fighting for, being brave for, risking everything for. And the trouble is, if you don’t risk anything, you risk even more.
— Erica Jong (via ohlili)

(Source: somniloquy, via quote-book)

 

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Feelings that come back are feelings that never left.
— Frank Ocean (via onlinecounsellingcollege)

(via romanholidays)

 

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two—drifters:

When it rains, the river will try and take you away from me.

Which is why, when it rains, we must hold onto each other, just a little tighter.

two—drifters:

When it rains, the river will try and take you away from me.

Which is why, when it rains, we must hold onto each other, just a little tighter.

 

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In this world, there are things you can only do alone, and things you can only do with somebody else. It’s important to combine the two in just the right amount.
— Haruki Murakami, After Dark (via rainier)

(via quote-book)

 

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We must remember that all these things, the nuances, the anomalies, the subtleties, which we assume only accessorize our days are, in fact, here for a much larger and nobler cause. They are here to save our lives.
— Emma Thompson (via kari-shma)

(via quote-book)

 

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We cannot simply sit and stare at our wounds forever. We must stand up and move on to the next action.
— Haruki Murakami,1Q84 (via outcamethesun)

(Source: walkingthroughthe-clouds, via romanholidays)

 

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It hurts to let go. Sometimes it seems the harder you try to hold on to something, or someone, the more it wants to get away. You feel like some kind of criminal for having felt, for having wanted. For having wanted to be wanted. It confuses you, because you think that your feelings were wrong and it makes you feel so small because it’s so hard to keep it inside when you let it out and it doesn’t come back. You’re left so alone that you can’t explain. Damn, there’s nothing like that, is there? I’ve been there and you have too. You’re nodding your head.
— Henry Rollins (via venebelle)

(Source: elppadab, via quote-book)